May 2010

Just the other day I had an outraged email from a reader who was appalled that Travis sexually harassed Sarah at work in Sweet Tea at Sunrise and nobody called him on it. She vowed never to read another of my books.

That got me to thinking about what constitutes sexual harassment in the workplace. I've always defined it as someone in power not only making unwelcome advances toward an employee, but suggesting or in fact making the fate of their job hinge on compliance.

It also reminded me that what seems a sinister invasion of an employee's space and comfort zone to one woman may be nothing more than simple flirting to another. It's little wonder that it's so difficult to draw the line in court.

Back in the day when I worked in the real world -- now the only thing harassing me for attention are my neighbor's dogs -- there were plenty of men around who liked to tease and flirt. In my mind, not a one of those situations rose to the level of harassment, and I always felt totally competent to let them know when something crossed a line. Never did I feel that my job was in jeopardy if I declined a pass or didn't laugh at a joke. Of course, none of these men ever pushed things beyond good taste, either.

I recognize, though, that there are many of us who are not necessarily easily offended, but who feel uncomfortable in situations with men who aren't their spouses making flirtatious comments. I think they'd feel the same way whether the remark was made at work, at a party or at a church picnic. I do think, though, that we all have to learn to speak up, to call a halt to the direction of a conversation with which we're not comfortable. If that doesn't do the trick, if a man pushes the boundaries in the workplace, then we have every right to cry foul.

Did Travis do this in Sweet Tea at Sunrise? To my mind, not only was his flirting all in good fun and a part of his courtship of her, I also felt Sarah was perfectly capable of telling him to back off. She did it frequently enough.

Does that mean it's okay, if the man happens to be attractive and someone in whom the woman is actually interested -- even if in denial about it? For me, yes, as long as there's not so much as a faint hint that her reaction will determine her future in her job. If women want true equality in the work place, they need to learn to speak up for themselves.

That said, however, no boss has the right to use his position to torment employees and threaten job security.

So, where do you think the line should be drawn between innocent flirting and harassment? Do you think Travis crossed it? I'd love to hear your thoughts. I'd also love to know how you've handled situations like this, if you've ever faced it.

Amd now you can create your own login for this blog by scrolling down just a bit on the right and signing up. I hope you'll do it, because I want to hear from you, not just about this, but about anything else on your mind that you and your friends are discussing. You can always email me directly at Sherryl703@gmail.com if you'd rather not comment publicly.